I can't believe I'm here! That I've made it this far. This year has been so wild for me. So much craziness and so many firsts. I have been pushed and pulled in every direction and have come so close, so many times, to just flat out giving up.
Two Fridays ago I had my 24 Birthday, and being the sentimental, reflective, person that I am, I took a moment and ran through all that it took to get here and how much I've changed in the process.
First off, old me (From my teens) would have quite this photography business just as soon as the first seemingly insurmountable wall came my way. I would have taken one look and said, "Nope, to hard, guess I'll have to try something else." I would have pouted, called it difficult, and blamed my lack of understanding, and the fact that know one was helping me solve my problems on my reasons for quitting. Old me would have never had the courage to face a stranger with a camera in hand and a promise to deliver. Teenager me, wouldn't even go through a drive thru restaurant on her own, was scared to use a credit card, and was too nervous to go to a gas station on her own, because last time she didn't know how to pay with cash, and she couldn't get the lid off the gas tank. ( that was a long time ago. lol. I figured it out.)
Yes, a lot has changed over the past several years. But this year I have made myself do things I never thought I could, in spite of everything that has tried to hold me back, including myself.
I've struggled with health issues that have affected my focus, moods, stress, and energy levels. I've had to walk a tight rope with my diet and daily routings to maintain and keep it in check. Some days I just have to stop everything. It's made this business go at a snails pace, but I've learned that moving slow is still better then not moving at all. I've had to teach myself everything I know on my own, through books, youtube, blogs, pinterest.... anything I can get my hands on, really. But it's paying off.
Just two or so weeks ago I got my first official customer and for the first time, I realized, I wasn't that nervous! I knew I could do it. That was such a good feeling. One I had been waiting for for a long time. I also assisted a wedding for the first time. I learned so much! Not everything went as I planned or would have wanted it too, but I have discovered that failures and mistakes are your best teachers and if you want to grow fast, fail often!
Below I have included some of my favorite detail shots from the wedding and also from my first paid photoshoot. If anything, it's for me to look back later at this post and remember, that I didn't give up, I did something that scared me, I grew from it, and even if this business doesn't work out the way I hope at least I gave it my best shot. Literally :)
One last thing.
I owe a lot of my progress to my ever encouraging and supportive husband who refuses to let me hold pity parties, pushes me when I need it and helps me realize my own potential. I don't think I could have come this far without him. he believes in me, and I think that's what makes all the difference.